this time i mean it

turnc0at:

turnc0at:

turnc0at:

turnc0at:

GUESS WHO GOT SOME APPLE FLAVOURED SHAMPOO

WAIT NO I MEANT SCENTED

DON’T WORRY IT TASTES LIKE APPLES TOO

i just threw up

(via egberts)

thats-slightly-raven:

thats-slightly-raven:

thats-slightly-raven:

I’m going to call my first born child Shrek and no one can stop me.

I’ve received 9 messages telling me that this is child abuse and I also lost 17 followers I’m not naming my first born child Shrek.

I hate you

(via duct-taped-ballet-shoes)

ispeakineloquently:

fudgeflies:

i wonder what’s happening right now over at hogwarts

probably education since harry doesn’t go there anymore

(via duct-taped-ballet-shoes)

wikatiepedia:

crimsoncamellianeko:

forimuchdesiretospeakwithhim:

wikatiepedia:

from now on I’m going to convey sarcasm over the internet by typing like this

oh wow look how sarcastic that looks

that actually does look really sarcastic though. this is revolutionary

DEAR GOD SOMEONE HAS INVENTED THE SARCASM FONT THIS IS A TIME FOR CELEBRATION

(via duct-taped-ballet-shoes)

pearls:

pearls:

i touched a dick once and it was the scariest thing in my life because it had a really cold head and i don’t know it wasn’t fun

sometimes the ‘i’ and ‘u’ shouldn’t be so close on the keyboard 

(via medicalsrose)

kimkainz:

love—fearlessly:

rampaigehalseyface:

seababe:

You really only understand how drunk you are when you’re peeing

This is so true though

(via stormafter)

fuoco-go:

gendertier:

gendertier:

gendertier:

i jUST WALKED INTO MY MOMS ROOM AND THERE’S A DACHSHUND IN HERE

WE DON’T OWN A DACHSHUND???? 

????????

okay this dog is so sweet but where is my mom omfg

Your mom has been turned into a dachshund. It’s you’re responsibility to lift the curse.

Your adventure is beginning, my friend.

(via stormafter)